Today I was introduced by a client of mine to something called the drama triangle. Super fascinating! Super insightful! I think you all can really benefit from the perspective shift it offers.
The triangle consists of the hero, the victim, and the villain. Each one of these characters plays a pivotal role i
n our lives. We can find ourselves being influenced by one or multiple of the three, or we can be one of them at any given time.
Lets start off by visualizing a real life scenario that many of us have probably experienced a time or two in our life. Let's say you're at work doing your job faithfully and diligently. However you're on a team and everyone knows there is a specific team member who puts in half as much work as everyone else. One day you walk in and a special and important project is due and you find that team member hasn't finished their part. Fed up, you decide at the end of the day to take matters to the boss. The end of the day draws near you walk into your bosses office and you let them know the project will not be fully completed on time because of this one team member. The boss then looks at you and says, "I will handle it, don't worry yourself further".
Let's identify real quick. Who is the villain? The obvious answer is the underperforming coworker. Who is the victim? Well, you of course, and also the rest of your team members. And who is the hero? The obvious hero is the boss who has resolved to do something about it and has taken the care off of your shoulders.
However, the situation can shift quickly! Roles can become reversed in a split second. Here's what I mean. The boss decides to do something about it. The next day the boss walks up to the underperforming coworker and lets them know that they need to start performing more or there will be consequences. The coworker then blurts out, "I can't do anything right in this company! What do you want from me!?" I come here, I put in my time, why are you picking on me? Boom! Look at how the roles have reversed now. Now the underperforming coworker has become the victim and the boss is now the villain. Crazy right?
Now that we're a little bit clearer on these different roles and how they can play out and easily shift, look in your own life. When it comes to the current battle you're facing with your internal self, your wellness journey, losing weight, and becoming healthy can you see what's at play? How many times have you taken the victim role? And how many times has food taken the hero role? And here's the thing, the villain doesn't have to be another person, the villain can be situations, circumstances, emotions, finances, toxic relationships, heck even the weather! How many times have you allowed food to be the perceived "hero" in your life? See there's nothing wrong with food. Food in and of itself is just simply nutrients. It has no moral or intrinsic value whatsoever. There's no such thing as good foods or bad foods, only foods that support your goals or don't support your goals.
You may find yourself now realizing that when food is given the hero role, and you give yourself the victim role, that you ran to your hero a little too often and crippled yourself in regards to facing life on your own. Now you're understanding hopefully that the old way of doing things is actually not helping anymore. That perceived "hero role of food" has now been unmasked as the villain. In essence, how you used food has now become the problem and therefore the villain.
What I'm getting at here is that you are not a victim, you are not powerless, and you do not need something external to help you fight your battles. You can become, and maybe you already are, a very strong and courageous person who is able to face life rather than running from it.
It may be difficult at times, or feel downright impossible to break that habit of continually running to food every time life gets difficult or hard. BUT IT CAN and MUST BE DONE! I've been there many times in my life, not with food, but I've had a full-blown addiction. Every day my mind was consumed with it constantly, especially when I was tired, stressed, overly emotional, bored, lonely, you name it I ran to my addiction and I became the imprisoned victim.
But here's a silver lining! You can slowly shift from the victim to the hero in your own life. You can learn how to face life challenges, its ups and downs, the sea of emotions, the hurt and loss, and the triumphs! The key is to go from not dealing with life, to finally dealing and facing life!
This might even require you to peer into your past and ask yourself are you still running from things that happened to you along time ago? Are you still being negatively affected by how your parents treated you, or a bad relationship, or a toxic work environment? Whatever it is, there was something so overpowering that you ran instead of facing it because thats all you knew to do.
If this is the case, it's OK! This is how you heal :) Take your time, make peace with the past, and stand your ground! Remember, you're human, we all make mistakes, we all have our story. You're doing the best you can, and that is what matters at the end of the day #mindset
Make today the day you awaken to the truth and transform!